TRIGGER WARNING: This episode may be triggering for some, as it talks of relationship abuse. If you are in immediate danger, call your country’s emergency line.

Today, this may be for you, or it may be for helping someone you care about. I want to help shine a light, not to label people casually, but to help us recognise and see patterns in Dark Triad personalities, as they can go hand in hand, share a psychological outline to better understand how they operate in general, and explore how this looks in relationships before outlining a step-by-step way to leave safely. Helplines and resources will be attached in the notes.

What we explore:

• Living with an Abuser

• What the Dark Triad Means

• What It Can Look Like in Relationships

• Warning Signs

• Triangulation

• On a Therapist Note

• SAFE EXIT PLAN:

• -Rebuild Yourself

• -Make a Private, Safe Plan

• -Build a Support Network

• -Gather Documents

• -Secure Money

• -Plan Where You Will Go

• -Choose the Right Time

• -If Children Are Involved

• Be Compassionate with Yourself

• Legal Protection (in Australia)

• Money & Financial Aid

Click HERE For the full article and resources on today's episode on Substack

The modern world and the technology we've created is both reshaping and destroying our lives, especially our relationships. How we relate to ourselves and to our beloved, and humanity as a collective. Topics: how dopamine isn't a 'pleasure chemical', why people are missing what really matters, the change of our salience landscape, relationship crisis, living in a spiritually bankrupt culture, what if you love your AI partner, our crisis of connection, the psychology of storytelling, the human need for connection and depth, the power of listening, finding our "Invincible Summer".

If you have been in or are currently in a relationship dynamic where you are experiencing emotional or psychological manipulation, bullying or gas lighting you probably don’t know what exactly is going on and why.

In this episode I want to explore with you how ‘knowing’ can be half the battle.

Because once we have a clearer picture of where this is coming from at the root cause and why, we can then decide how to address it and how best to respond or work with a situation or relationship dynamic.

We Will Explore

First Step: Know what it isThe Major General Types or Reasons:

• Dominance

• Righteousness

• Negative Emotion

• Lack of Understanding

• Abuse / Trauma Patterns

• Need for Drama / Highly Neurotic

SECOND STEP: Know HOW to Resolve It

Diving into scenario's of each 'Major General Type' and how to work with them

Stella Takeaway:

"We do not yet live in a perfectly just and fair world. We cannot control all circumstance. What we can learn to control is ourselves; from psyche and mindset, to emotions, personality responses not reactions and, our entire behaviour, learning or seeking help with healing our own wounds and breaking our own patterns, habits or addictions, refining ourselves and equipping ourselves as warriors of light to ever do and be better. For the better we know and understand ourselves and each other the better we can navigate all. "

I trust today has shed some light upon your way and I wish you well as you navigate your unique journey.

If I can ask you one small thing today – please if you are yet to do rate, review and subscribe so others can easier find and join us here at the 'Sacred Guidance with StellaMuse' podcast.

And if you are seeking an Integrative Therapy approach to better understand or work through any challenge, change, crisis or curiosity for yourself or with your partner please reach out to me at elise@stellamuse.com to explore how I can best serve you.

With Love, Elise | StellaMuse

Your happiness, contentment or joy, your healing and spiritual growth does not and will not ever depend on anyone else. Despite your personality telling you otherwise. Join me for this episode as we navigate through the control of the personality to lead you to where the life you actually long for awaits. A life of lightness and true joy, goodness, truth and love.

What We Will Explore

• How your personality is running & ruining your life

• The eternal hunt for a quick fix

• Using life to make you 'happy'

• Making the Promise to yourself

• Shifting control from the personality

• Aligning the key 5 aspects of Self

• Why you are NOT your experiences

• The clash of personalities in relationship

• The power and beauty of Harmony

• Why personalities want to win at all cost

• Avoidance of your self & your emotions

• Laws of the World and working with them

• Truly 'having it all'

• Where do we start

• The Pause & the Circuit Breakers

• Allowing life to come up

• Learning how to Be & not resist

• Experiencing the Lightness of Being

• Reaching your Always Place

Stella Takeaway

"All will unfold as it always has in the world, but you would have evolved so you can live closer in alignment with Truth, with the Path, with a harmonised way of being. Stop allowing the personality to create the disturbance in your world. Your battleground or your sun kissed beach is inside of you no matter what is happening around you."

Resources

• ⁠28 Day Deeper Intimacy & Conscious Love guidance course for couples⁠

• ⁠Emotional Processing

With Love, Elise | StellaMuse

I want to share a personal story with you today. Something I have seldom done here on ‘Sacred Guidance with StellaMuse’. I contemplated how I can best use a recent health scare and crisis akin to a perfect stormy dark night of the soul as a springboard to share, guide and offer support to those of you who may resonate and likewise face something similar.

I want to note prior to diving in that I do not share this as any form of professional medical guidance – I am not a medical doctor or surgeon and everyone’s path is their own to navigate as they choose. This episode is a personal story and experience coupled with my subsequent choices for my path with the approaches and tools I use in life. Shared here as a different perspective perhaps on what many of us have been taught and an invitation to be open to different wisdom when making our own discerning, conscious choices that are right and best for us.

We Dive Into:

• Elise's Personal Crisis & Journey

• Differentiating Trauma from Patterns

• Facing & Working with Our 'Patterning'

• Psychological Safety

• "What if I'm not ok?" When Our World Breaks

• The Human Need for Trust

• The Load of Self-Sufficiency

• Threat Systems & How to Relax Them

• How to See Thing as They REALLY Are

• The Importance of Knowing Your Psychological Disposition

• The Opportunity in Chaos & Trauma

EASTERN WISDOM:

• Flowing

• Adaptability

• The Paradox of Suffering

• Transcendence

ROMAN STOICISM:

• Inner Strength

• What You Can and Can't Control

• Reframing Your Perspective

• Resilience, Acceptance & Adaptation

• Letting Go of Rigidity

• Maintaining Inner Peace

• Rationality & Logic

• Elise's journey update now

• Parting wisdom

STELLA GEM

What was coming up at this very vulnerable and uncertain time was something different, subtler, more psychological in nature it was the next frontier or the other part of ‘the work’ we could say. Once the healing from trauma is truly done we need to address the patterning that can be created as a result. And when there is a lifetime of repeated environmental exposure to something that pattern is going to be a very strong, masterfully refined, impenetrable machine. Build to withstand anything. Almost.

STELLA TAKEAWAY

When we can both understand AND accept the moment however is presents, we can begin to see crisis, challenge or change not as an adversary, but as part of our human experience. A part of Life. It's in the cycles, seasons, rhythms and ebb and flow of All that is, that we see challenge as opportunity for growth on multiple levels and learning. The evolution of our own consciousness even. By accepting or even embracing the inevitability of challenge, we can carry within us the essence of poised, calm, adaptability, rather than fear, rigidity and resistance jumbled up in emotionally charged story and narrative.

If you are seeking 1:1 or couples guidance along your path please reach out to me at elise@stellamuse.com to explore how best I can serve you – please don’t feel alone in the world, life is a tricky thing to navigate and there are people you can rely on to safely, with love and wisdom support and guide you and I am one of those if it speaks to you.

Imagine living free of any and all emotional turmoil, pain, upset, anger, disappointment, jealousy, sadness and hurt from your childhood till now.

It is possible.

Most people live in an internal prison of the mind and emotions. Non-stop all day every day. So reactive to the world and thus also so attached to the thoughts and feelings that arise that these thoughts and feelings not only FEEL real, they become who most of us think we are. I’m angry. I’m sad. I want this. I need that. You wake up it starts and it doesn’t stop until you go to bed and even then, it may wake you up in the night...

This is what many of us call “normal” and what most of us don’t realise is actually a self-created prison keeping us from living the life we are here to live.

How do we awaken from this? First, we realise our self in this story. Hello! I’ve been there too!

Alas, you can’t change that moment by going back and replaying it for the rest of your life BUT we can however use those moments as springboards to access the core emotions (pain / upset / regret / trauma whatever it may be for you) attached to that that which we have been carrying round AND then we get to work!

I call this practice ‘Emotional Processing’ think of it like learning how to permanently drop the emotional/mental baggage of your entire life so far and not collect any more moving forward. All by using the power of both eastern and western psychological practices in one artful process that you can use as a go-to whenever required.

We Dive Into:

• How you "trained for this!"

• This IS an opportunity for growth

• ‘Good Vibes’ only approach NOT the answer

• Rising above the emotional/mental prison

• Learning the Art of Emotional Processing: Basic 9 Step Approach

• Sit & Relax

• Breathe

• Awareness & Acknowledgment

• Accept the Experience

• Direct Dialogue

• Finding the Root Feeling

• Feel

• Witness

• Transcending Emotions

• Shift in Consciousness

• Where to from here?

• What happens when Emotions come up?

Stella Gem

"Once you can fully sit in that feeling space, in complete acceptance of “this is the feeling” you can then gently begin to shift your perspective this is the ‘reframing’ that Buddhist psychology talks of. This is the path to transcendence – and by that I mean transcendence of emotions controlling you, you are going ‘beyond them’ ..."

Stella Takeaway

"This is all part of the Path of self-realisation and thus the Path to integrating your ‘lower nature’ as we call it in Esoteric Psychology (that being your personality, physical, emotional, mental vehicles as I’ve spoken of in other episodes) and lifting all of that to your ‘higher or divine nature’ (we can call that Soul) which we are All here to learn." Enjoy

With Love, Elise | StellaMuse

It’s a temporary time of sacrifice – a breaking open in ways, a breaking down in ways, a birthing and a re-birthing in ways. Particularly for the mother. But for all parents it is a new world of wonderment and undeniable chaos.

Together we explore

• Limits of the Body

• What to be aware of to be able to Parent with Consciousness

• The State of your '3 Vehicles'

• How to assess where you are spent; Physically, Emotionally, Mentally

• What Support looks like for you

• Loss of Identity

• Where to get Emotional, Mental and Physical Top Ups or Benefits

• The more Psychological Approach

• Allocating time and resources to Recharge YOU

• Sacrifice V's Your Own Personal Time

• Navigating Crisis

• Seeing our Partner as “not being (good) enough”

• WHAT to be Conscious of as Parents

• No Shame in Asking for Help

• Knowing Yourself

• Opportunity to learn Divine Attributes

• Guidance for the Mama's

• Guidance for the Dada's

• Parenting with Consciousness as Your Evolution

Stella Excerpt

"My Golden Key for you is to allocate time and resources to doing what recharges YOU - It’s not enough to just be ‘conscious’ or ‘aware’ as a parent. It is about taking action on getting your primary needs met too. Of course, it won’t be to the same degree as before – PB – pre-baby as I call it. But, even a little bit will top you up enough to get through a day, or the week…"

Takeaway Gem

"IF you can regulate your needs; physically, emotionally and mentally (even spiritually for those of us walking the path) it will make this time of transition easier. Though not necessarily easy. Finding moments of more ease and calm amid the chaos does help you continue on and slowly rebuild gently with time."

In Light & Love of the Soul, Elise | StellaMuse

We are creatures of habit. Creatures of comfort. Who seek pleasure over pain, familiar over unfamiliar. We’ve been heavily programmed in modern times to seek the fast, cheap and easy route. Be that in diet, fitness and health regimes, to fixing our relationship problems in ‘only three steps’.

What if we instead turn within and seek to learn the art of detachment?

Detachment from thoughts, emotions and behaviours that limit us and keep us repeating the same cycles while our bodies age and weary. As a result, we may well reach the high point which the Ageless Eastern Wisdom, many faiths and philosophies speak of. A point ‘of lived wisdom’ we could call it. A point where we cease to create suffering for ourselves and others.

Together, We Also Explore

• Detachment – the great experiment

• Modern Western psychology of detachment

• The Ageless Eastern teachings of detachment

• Beauty, Wisdom & Truth of philosophies & faiths;

• Baha’i Faith of Persia

• Buddhism (including Zen)

• Christianity

• Hinduism

• Jainism

• Kabbalah

• Taoism

• Letting go & the practice of Firm But Loving

• Harmony, ‘de-taching’ & the Path of Least Resistance

• The Art of Detachment & the Art of Letting Go

• The Internal Battle – Soul V's Personality

• Questions and self-inquiry for meditation & contemplation

• Your True Nature

Stella Excerpt

"Letting go has for too long been associated with endings, death, suffering and pain. When as we know, it is simply part of the cycle of all that is. Both The Art of Detachment and The Art of Letting Go are therefore simply part of this cycle too. It is in letting go of what no longer serves; in the toy of childhood. In the habitual reactions to a lovers’ doing or not doing what is desired. In the repeating of out dated habits; be that over eating, smoking, buying more stuff or aimlessly scrolling social media, that something dies, ends and, de-taches. Allowing something new to take its place. A tiny shift, a tiny change and thus a tiny turn upon the spiral of life moves us forward."

Takeaway Gem

“…and if nothing else what if I asked you to ask yourself what are you most attached to right now? how can you better deal with that? What is one thing, aspect, person, that you can detach from be that mentally, emotionally, physically, all of the above, so that you are no longer hurt, impacted, affected?”

Your starting point today is simply to take one attachment that you have right now, that you know does not serve you. That is causing you hurt, pain or harm in some way and begin The Art of Detachment from it. As you come to sense, feel, know the liberation that it brings it will fuel you to continue to take the next attachment, and the next. Slowly peeling them back and casting them off and onto the fire. Making way for your freedom and the consequent freedom of others.

In Light & Love of the Soul, Elise | S*M

Today more than ever, if we are to walk the Path we walk it not only for ourselves but, to purify ourselves to be channels of light to illuminate the way for others. We do so by harmonising and blending the Way of The Heart with The Way of the Mind. The Love with The Wisdom. The Mystical with The Esoteric. For the Mystic of yesterday is to become the esotericist of today.

Let’s explore some famous mystics and esotericists. How we can not only learn from them but, also how we can develop our heart mind connection to reach our highest potential and carry onwards and upwards the flame they bestowed upon our Way.

Together, We Also Explore

• What is Mysticism?

• Some famous mystics…

• The Way of the Heart

• Poetry by Hadewijch

• The Way of the Mind

• Modern Mystics & Practical Mystics

• Well known esotericists

• Wisdom | Mind

• How do we shift from modern mystic to awakening the mind?...

• Esoteric readings that may speak to you…

• Where to look and what to look out for

• Beyond the words – semantics, symbolism and the meaning of ‘man’

• Study

• Mind Meditation

• Forms of practice before ‘meditation’

• Training the mind

• Wisdom quotes from Bailey & Blavatsky

Stella Excerpt

… keep in mind, there is not one Path, there is never only one way. What works for you and I may be entirely different and that is perfectly fine. Just be honest with yourself that you are working on the mental/mind as well as your emotional/heart/astral and, body/physical.

Takeaway Gem

This esoteric way, of blending heart and mind is one of knowing that ‘what is outside is also within’ – that we are one; the microcosmic of the macrocosmic.

May you find your Way to blending the heart and mind as you walk your Path.

In Light & Love of the Soul, Elise | S*M